i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
