sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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