I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
