this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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