my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
