goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize