You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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