I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
