Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize