Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
