When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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