im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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