his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
