I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
