I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
