Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
