I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
