So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I understand Curling. That high.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
