when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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