Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize