I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
