My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
