its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
