Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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