I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
