There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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