I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
