fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
