in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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