Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
