: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
