Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize