What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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