Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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