nut hugger
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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