my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
