I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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