Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
