i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
