They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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