i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize