Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
