I'm so fucking centered right now
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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