the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
as a side note pls kill me
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