Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
