Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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