Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
NoShamevember. You game?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize