If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
