It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
