She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i drank out of a bidet.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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