even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize