You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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