Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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