There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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