I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
