i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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