I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You smell like stripper and shame
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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