oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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