Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
