i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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