South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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