If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
