I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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