Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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