billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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