would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
